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“They are saying Hunter made greater than $1.6 million in A.T.M. withdrawals. He spent round $683,000 on funds to numerous girls; over $237,000 on well being, magnificence and pharmacy, which, you thought you had an extended receipt at CVS.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“100 and eighty-eight thousand on grownup leisure, and a bit of over $71,000 on rehab and re-rehab and re-rehab for a grand complete of virtually $5 million, which is, I imply, that’s like an early 2000s Charlie Sheen-caliber efficiency. It’s spectacular.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“No presidential member of the family in latest reminiscence comes with as a lot baggies — uh, I imply, baggage — as Hunter, and now the regulation has lastly caught up with him. ” — KAL PENN, visitor host of “The Each day Present”
“It’s stunning to assume the presidential race would possibly come right down to who goes to jail first: Hunter Biden or Donald Trump. Though, possibly if we’re fortunate, the 2 of them would possibly find yourself in a cell collectively? Like, you throw George Santos in there, and I’m watching that present.” — KAL PENN
“The White Home has reiterated, which, they reiterated that President Biden won’t pardon Hunter if he’s convicted of any crime, though they didn’t say something about not dressing him up as a turkey subsequent Thanksgiving and pardoning him then.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
